


Love the Way You Lie

by sincerelyhys



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Produce X 101 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Amnesia, M/M, MAMA team as yunseong's best bois, just some kissing and hugsies nothing more, liar liar pants on fire kang minhee, you know nothing hwang yunseong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-04-19 16:56:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19136842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sincerelyhys/pseuds/sincerelyhys
Summary: It's a nice feeling, when Minhee runs his thumb on his cheek after his declaration, and for a second there Yunseong feels like it's okay if he doesn't remember things, because Minhee is there with him to make new ones.





	1. Chapter 1

Minhee is holding his hand when he gains consciousness. 

The latter is sleeping, form slouched over the little hospital chair and his grip on Yunseong’s hand is tight, but just enough for him to slowly move his fingers. This movement must’ve stirred Minhee, because he lifts his head up and looks at Yunseong as if there was a miracle.

“Hyung—“ he chokes on his words, and lets go of his hand as quick as he woke up and goes outside to call a nurse. 

The rest after that is kind of a blur for him. 

Yunseong can only remember the nurses and doctors who kept on checking up on him, hooking him up to new IV, asking him questions.

_ Are you feeling better?  _ Not much.

_ Are you feeling any pains in your body?  _ Just numbness in my back and legs.

_ Do you know why you’re here?  _ I slipped and fell in the campus parking lot. 

_ Does your head hurt?  _ No.

He keeps on falling asleep and waking up amidst all this. The doctors ask more questions that confuse him, and he gets fed more medicine. He feels tired mostly, and uncomfortable. The only familiar face he has seen is Minhee, and that felt like days ago in his mind. He wants to see his parents or his sister or maybe Minhee again.

The next time he wakes up from a nap Minhee is finally there. He’s wearing different clothes, but the same hair and face. He does look worn out and there are dark circles under his eyes. But it’s still Minhee. 

He looks relieved Yunseong woke up, and immediately stands up from where he was sitting in the sofa across the room.

“Hyung...” Minhee tells him, albeit slowly.

“Yes Minhee?” 

“How are you feeling?” 

“I’m fine I guess....” 

“That’s good. That’s great to hear.” he heaves out a sigh of relief as he runs his fingers through his hair. 

“How long was I out?” 

“You were in a comatose for weeks, and it’s been more or less 4 days since you woke up.”  

“Did I miss any exams or quizzes?” he asks, and Minhee’s eyebrows furrow.

“What do you mean—” 

“I have a paper due in 2 weeks time, well 2 weeks before this accident so I guess I missed that…” 

Minhee looks baffled.

“I don’t understand you hyung. What day do you think it is today?” Minhee asks carefully, as if he’s walking on eggshells. He’s looking at him with the same intense eyes he usually does.

“Sometime around November? I’m not sure. I think we celebrated my birthday last last week.” 

“What’s the year?”

“2019.”

Minhee looks at him with his pained expression. He’s seen this face before. He doesn’t like it.

“It’s 2024 now hyung.” he says solemnly.

It’s got to be a prank. 

Yunseong isn’t falling for it. 

Minhee always tried to fool him into tricks like this and even to other people with his friends, but it never really always worked on him because he always got past through him. Minhee had always been a bad liar on top of that. 

“That’s so not true.” he says as he points to a glass of water on the bedside. “Can you pass me that, I’m thirsty...” 

Minhee passes him the glass and helps him get up a bit but still has that weird face on.

“Hyung, I’m saying the truth.” 

“I’m not falling for it Minhee.”

Minhee looks like he’s about to say something, but he decides not to and rushes out of the room in a hurry. He doesn’t know how long, but it feels like forever until Minhee comes back in the room.

“You lost your memory, hyung.” 

He makes a face and squints at Minhee.

“No I don’t.”

“Why do you think you are here in the hospital for?”

“We were running back to my car in the parking lot, because it suddenly rained hard. We were going to go to the café to catch up with Eunsang’s gig. Then I slipped.” he recalls the memory vividly in his mind.

“Yes that happened. Five years ago.” Minhee insists.

“This isn’t funny anymore Minhee.”

“It was never meant to be funny. I’m really not joking hyung. I wish I was but I’m not—” the younger breaks, frustrated. He looks at Yunseong like he wants to say something, then raises a finger, then puts it back down and closes his mouth. He takes a deep breath after that too, as if he’s done. 

“I’m sorry hyung.” he says as he takes one long look at Yunseong, then leaves the room.

 

* * *

 

The doctors tell him and confirm that it is temporary amnesia due to the crash. 

They promise him he’ll still probably get his memories back in time. His parents are finally there, and they look as worn out as the doctors in front of him. He doesn’t speak throughout the whole speech, and just stares at them. They ask him questions again and he was initially planning on not answering, but then sees the tired look on his mom’s face and just goes with what the doctor wants from him. 

When the doctors leave, his mom cries. He tells her to not cry and gives her a weak hug. He still has a lot of beeping stuff hooked up to him, and he can barely move.

He asks his dad to tell him everything while his mom naps on the couch. She looks frail enough as it is and it upset him that she was barely getting sleep recently according to his dad.

His dad tells him he got involved a vehicular accident. 

He was driving in the highway, and an incoming truck lost control. His car is crushed to practically chunks, and had it not been for help that came quick he probably would have been dead. He’s in a coma-like state for almost 3 weeks until he woke up the other day. 

He frowns, and feels guilty. He doesn’t remember anything that lead to it, and it frustrates him.

“You don’t have to force yourself to remember. The nurses told me if you ease yourself into it, it will come better than forcing it.” his father reassures him. 

It doesn’t reassure him, not one bit.

He wants to remember things again. It feels like he’s stuck in a different timeline, and it feels weird. He feels like being suspended in mid air for no reason at all.

 

* * *

 

Minhee comes back a few hours later, and brings him fruits.

“I want coffee.” he tells him.

“I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to drink caffeine yet again hyung. Here, have an apple.”

“It’s not coffee.”

“You sound, different.”

“Why? Did I change over the past few years?” he asks Minhee, and Minhee has his thinking face on.

“Yeah, you did.”

“Bad change or good change?”

“Neutral change.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.”

Minhee gives him a small smile as he hands him half an apple. He still takes it from his hand and bites into it. 

“They—my dad, and the doctors—told me that I’ll be able to remember things easily if I had help. I was thinking, nobody knows me better than you do, I guess. So I wanted to ask you if you could help me?” he feels weird asking it of him, for some reason. He has never asked anything from Minhee back then because the younger usually was the first one to offer things up, and out of persistence he would usually end up accepting whatever it is that Minhee wanted to do.

Minhee blinks at him twice, as if Yunseong wasn’t directly talking to him. 

“Of course I’ll help you hyung.” he says. ‘What do you want to know?”

“What happened after 2019?” 

“Well for starters, the world didn’t end, and disappointingly there still aren’t flying cars.”

Minhee paused to think.

“We graduated university, you ahead of us of course. Seokhwa was actually foaming in the mouth when you got a job offer from that high end architecture firm that you wanted to work at.” 

Yunseong nods, so far his life sounds okay.

Minhee looks like he’s thinking deeply, face scrunched in a weird way, and he looks like he’s uncomfortable or holding back something.

“Is there something that’s bothering you?” he asks him directly.

“What makes you say that hyung?”

“You’ve been acting weird.”

“You said before that I’m always weird.” 

“But this is uncomfortable weird. If you want to say something, say it. I’m pretty much a sponge at this point.” 

Minhee takes a gulp of his own saliva. Yunseong spots him wiping his palms on his jeans too.

“You really don’t remember what happened, between us—“

“We’ve been through this Minhee, yes I don’t.”

“I mean I was just—it’s just—“

“Why do you keep on stuttering? Did something bad happen to me?”

“N-no, but we—“ 

“Did anything happen between us?“

“We got married.” Minhee blurts out as a whisper.

They stare at each other for probably the longest minute of Yunseong’s life.

“How?” 

“We dated for a long time, and I proposed to you.” Minhee bites his lip.

Yunseong looks at him, like fully looks at him. It’s not a hidden fact that Minhee liked him back then and the possibility of him marrying Minhee isn’t far fetched. Minhee was the kind of person that truly pursued him and pushed him, stuck with him even though he was not the most friendly. 

Minhee is nibbling on his lip, probably waiting for his response. 

“Where’s my ring though?” he asks, looking at his hands.

“You probably misplaced it again. You did it last time.”

“When did we get married?” 

“Last June. We drove just right outside the city to get married to a local judge. It was just the two of us. Nobody else knows.”

He nods slowly, because that sounds like something he would pull off. He did tell somebody back then, probably Junho or Minhee, that he didn’t want a lavish wedding. 

“So we’re married.” 

“Yes.”

“Okay.” 

Minhee gives him one of his cute little smiles, the one that barely sneaks out as he holds one of Yunseong’s hands.

“It’s okay, if you don’t accept at first. I mean, it’s a huge thing to be dropped on somebody and like—“

“I get it, Minhee.” 

“I’m just happy you’re still here hyung.” he says admittedly, and he rubs circles on Yunseong’s hand. “I don’t know what I would do.” 

 

* * *

 

When he’s discharged, Minhee drives him to their apartment. 

Minhee lives in a penthouse.  _ They  _ live in a penthouse. 

It’s pretty big, and has clear windows overlooking the whole of Seoul. It’s minimalistic, and has touches of black and white. There is an electric fireplace, and a comfy looking sofa. The dining table is made of mahogany and the kitchen is huge. It feels foreign to him. He was kind of expecting that seeing something else might trigger his memory but it doesn’t.

Minhee is very nice to him, caring and patient. 

He’s different from the Minhee he remembers. 

He’s more collected now, and mature. His face hasn’t changed a lot; he still looks the same stupidly cute college freshman that got everyone giggling over him. He still has the buzzing positive energy he usually carries around him, but his touches are gentle. Earlier he guided Yunseong towards the elevator, and he touches him like he’s made of porcelain. Kind of afraid, as if he’ll break. He used to be rash, and kind of immature and did things spontaneously. He was the total opposite of Yunseong but they stuck well together like magnets. 

“Hyung! If you want to take a bath, it’s there down the hall. Your clothes are inside the walk in closet, and there are towels by the hall.” Minhee yells from where he is in the bedroom. “Or are you hungry? I can whip something up for you—or we can order in, whatever you like.” 

He’s really surprisingly sweet, and Yunseong sees the appeal. 

“I’m craving for pizza.” he admits, and Minhee peeks from the bedroom to smile at him.

“Of course you do. I’ll order in, and just take a bath.” 

He’s pretty much recovered from all his wounds, and this is the first time in weeks that he’s taking a full bath. It feels good when he lies on the bathtub, and the soapy water is relaxing. By the time he gets out of the tub and is fully dressed (he doesn’t know which is which, so he just grabs the first comfortable looking shirt that he sees and sweatpants), Minhee already has the pizza on the table, along with a bottle of wine. 

“Do you want to? It’s okay if you don’t.”

“I’m always down for a glass of wine, Minhee. I’m fine. You don’t have to act like that around me.”

“Act like what?”

“Nervous. I’m fine. I won’t run out on you. It’s not like I have someplace else to go.”

“You might run away—and go back to your parents.” 

“They’re busy. I’m better off in here. I feel like the more they see me the more they get worried over me. I’m your husband too. I should be here with you.”

Minhee’s ears redden upon Yunseong’s words and he gives him a pat on the cheek. He takes the pizza box and puts it on the coffee table by the living room, and Yunseong follows him. 

“Where do you want to start first?” Minhee asks him.

He thinks about it, long and hard.

“Where is Junho?” he asks, remembering his friend.

“He’s in the US, with Eunsang, since he’s a producer now. They’re kind of in this weird on-off stage now because Yohan hyung keeps on appearing every now and then in their lives.”

“Did they know of our marriage?” he still toys around with the word, as if its foreign.

“No.” 

“Does my parents know?”

“You were actually going to tell them that weekend you were coming over.”

“Okay. About us, do we like—what do I—what do we like to do? Because I don’t know. Do we like make out a lot or hug or cuddle or—”

“Whatever you’re comfortable with right now. I mean, we don’t have to right now, not when you don’t remember. I can wait hyung.” Minhee says as he bites into the pizza he’s holding, but shortly after he swallows Yunseong leans in closer. 

“What are you doing?”

“We’re married right?”

“Yup.” 

“I want to try something.” he says, and leans in for a kiss on the lips. Minhee tastes like pizza, but his lips are soft and it feels  _ comfortable.  _ Right. Minhee shifts his head into an angle, giving him more access and he goes deeper, just a little bit—before he pulls away with a smack. 

“That was nice. I probably married you for that.” he says as he tilts his head left and right, and when Minhee thought he wasn’t looking, he saw him touch his own lips through the corner of his eyes.

 

* * *

 

Minhee doesn’t pressure him into anything.

Sometimes it’s Yunseong who pressures him, mostly. 

It’s the opposite from what they were back then. When they met before, Minhee used to be the one to push him into doing things despite him being the older one. What Minhee wants, Minhee gets was a recurring joke their group of friends have back then. Right now he’s not so sure, because this Minhee is like a book he’s beginning to read again for the very first time. 

He still doesn’t have his memory back, but he’s slowly easing in on the idea that he is five years behind. There are new smartphones, new tv shows, new websites and there are  _ memes _ that Minhee had to explain to him and why are they viral.

Minhee works in an advertising company, and he’s climbed up the corporate ladder quickly so he kind of has his own time now instead of working round the clock. He never leaves the house recently though unless its for errands, as if he’s afraid Yunseong will actually run for the hills when he looks away. They still haven’t found his wedding ring, and Minhee was like  _ I’ll have the cleaning lady look for it and give her a bonus when she does.  _

His accident leave is almost over though, that means he has to go to work. Even though he doesn’t know what kind of work he’s doing. He wants to do something else rather than be at home, yet he doesn’t remember anything that he’s worked on for the company either. 

Minhee must’ve been a psychic, because the next day he brings in a bunch of stuff in a box. 

“It’s some of your designs. I had somebody from work compile some, so you can check it out. You didn’t want to bring any work home, so usually you just stay there overtime and finish the work.” Minhee tells him as he dumps the box on the table. 

Yunseong filters through it, and the designs feel familiar, but it doesn’t strike a chord in his brain.

He pours over his pervious work while he drinks coffee (thank god he’s finally allowed to have it!) and Minhee is watching reruns of some idol survival show he likes. He’s past his early 20s and yet he’s still into the kind of stuff that he did 5 years ago. It makes Yunseong snort as he goes back to his work. 

They welcome him at work the next day, and nobody kinds of pressures him to hand over a quick report or a floor design. His co-workers ease him with work, and his deskmate, a man who goes by the name Mahiro tells him that he acts like a different person. 

“Different how?” he asks him during their lunch break. They’re down by the cafeteria, and they’re joined by three more people. Tony, from the finance department, Seobin from a floor below and Gichan from the same team who Mahiro claims are all their friends. They seem like the kind of people Yunseong would be friends with, not to be judgmental and all that.

“You used to be so pressed. Yeah, that’s the word for it. You were strict with the team and pressured us a lot at work especially the new ones.” Gichan says as he munches through his salad. “I had to live my work day with you, all the time. Imagine that.”

“You’re less… tough now. I mean you’re still you, but you don’t seem the type to rip out Mahiro’s design just because you thought it was ugly.” Tony adds as he slurps on his noodles.

“I was that bad?” he asks, wondering what went down. 

It sounds like a very different Yunseong. It almost feels as if it’s not him in the first place.

They tell him bits of stuff that he forgot and missed out on, and act as if he never lost his memory at all. They make him feel comfortable, and he feels warm and nice that he had people like them who he can rely on despite him being apparently bad to them.

“Thank you, for the information… and I’m sorry if ever I was horrible to all of you before.” he apologizes before the end of lunch and Gichan pats him on the back.

“It’s fine man. We’re just glad to have you back here.”

The rest of the day is fine, he’s still grasping around for things. It’s kind of frustrating, how he feels so incompetent, but it’s not like he can do anything about it as well. 

He clocks out of work eventually, and there outside the building, is Minhee’s car.

“How long have you been waiting?” he asks him from the window opening. 

“Not that long.” Minhee replies, but seems to be looking at something from behind him. He looks back to see that Mahiro is looking weirdly at their direction, and is giving squinty eyes at Minhee. “Don’t you want to get in? I wanted to bring you to your favorite restaurant. Maybe your favorite food might trigger something.” 

“Sure, let’s go.” 

 

* * *

 

Minhee takes him to a hole in the wall restaurant near the business district. The place has a good atmosphere and the smell of food from the inside is inviting. It does seem familiar to him upon seeing the area.

"Hey, I think I remember this place." he says, amazed as he looks around.

"That's good. What do you remember?" Minhee asks him and he pauses to think. 

"Not much, I just know that I've been here before." he says and Minhee loops their arms together. 

"That's alright, at least we're getting some memories back..." the younger trails off as he drags Yunseong inside.

They grab a seat in the corner and Minhee orders food for them as he takes in the interior of the restaurant. 

"I feel like we're on a date for the first time." Yunseong suddenly admits, and Minhee's face lights up. Yunseong likes staring at Minhee as he smiles, it brings him a feeling of peace. Tacky, but his heart does a flip. 

"Yeah, it does feel like a first date. Should we introduce ourselves to each other again?" Minhee suggests. "I'm Kang Minhee. I work in advertising and I like guys who are quiet.

"I'm Hwang Yunseong. I'm a quiet person." he shakes the hand Minhee extended and both of them chuckle at their actions. 

"So Hwang Yunseong-ssi, what do you like in a person?" Minhee asks, propping his head on his hands on top of the table.  

"I'm not really particular... as long as I like you, I _like_ you." 

"So far... do you like me Hwang Yunseong-ssi?"

"You're not too bad."

"I'd take that as a yes."  

"How about you, Kang Minhee?" 

"What about me?" 

"Do you like me?" 

"I love you." Minhee says simply. He can see the way Minhee's eyes glisten at him and he can't help but lean in and give him a hug.

"Oh? What's with the hug?" 

"I just want to hug you." Yunseong admits, and Minhee wraps his arms around him too as he perches his head on his shoulder. 

"I wish I can hug you like this forever." Minhee sighs.

"I'm sorry, I don't know if I'm being a good husband to you. I'll try to remember things, so I can treat you better." he apologizes, and Minhee draws back, cupping his face after.

"Don't be sorry hyung. You're doing fine. As long as you're here with me, it's fine." Minhee reassures him, then leans in to give him a kiss on the lips. "It will all come to you in the right time, and right here and even then I'll be here with you. I don't want you to feel bad thinking you make me feel sad, or upset just because you don't remember things. I don't love you for your memories. I love you for who you are." 

It's a nice feeling, when Minhee runs his thumb on his cheek after his declaration, and for a second there Yunseong feels like it's okay if he doesn't remember things, because Minhee is there with him to make new ones. 

 

* * *

 

 

He has to return back to the hospital for a check up, and Minhee dropped him off before he went to work. He had to even reassure him that he’d be okay going alone, and it’s not like he’s truly alone  _ alone _ because his mom will also be there too.  _ I’ll be fine, I need to talk to my mom anyway,  _ he rubs Minhee’s shoulder in reasurrance. 

Despite it being a weekend there isn’t much people around aside from the staff walking about, and he immediately went to his doctor’s office for his appointment. They do another series of tests on him, and the doctor prescribes him medicine. He listens to him on everything, and asks him about his memory. 

“There’s actually a process, that you can go on. One of our key doctors here has come up with it and it’s done more than ten trials already and was successful to the survivors. If you want your memory as quick as possible, I would recommend it to you. Dr. Lee is one of the most respectable practitioners in the field of neuroscience, so it’s deemed to be safe and effective. But only, if you want to take part in it.” his doctor talks as he sits in front of Yunseong across the desk, and Yunseong could only nod.

“I think I should tell my husband first—but I would definitely think about it.” he tells the doctor while he’s leading him out the door and the doctor tells him that he’s not pressuring him into any decision, as Yunseong will have to undergo quite a few more check ups before he can fully do it if ever.

He goes to the coffee shop across the building to go to his mother. She sweeps him in for a hug when she spots him walking from the door, and she shoves him food as he sits down beside here.

“You look thinner, I brought you some fruits and side dishes you can eat when you go home. Oh my dear Yunseong...” she sighs out as she pats Yunseong’s hair. She looks like she’s aged now more than ever, but better compared to when he first saw her after he became conscious.

“How are you now mom?”

“I’m better now that you’re here. My worries have been reduced. I thought I was going to lose you.” 

“I’m sorry, for making you worry.”

“Don’t blame yourself over that. What matters most is that you’re okay now.” she gives him a warm hug, and it feels nice.

“I actually wanted to tell you something.” he wipes his hands on his jeans.

“What is it honey?”

“Promise me you won’t faint or anything.”

“Is this going to be bad?”

“Depending on how you’re going to take it? I don’t know, if Minhee already told you yet—but, before the accident. We got married, in secret.” 

His mom’s eyes widen like plates. 

“I was going to tell you and dad. That weekend I was coming over. Minhee told me.”

“I guess, we knew it was all coming. Minhee is a nice kid, and he takes care of you well."

“I’m surprised you’re taking this too well, Mom.”

“I’ve been through a lot these past few days, and your marriage is a silver lining. If he makes you happy, whatever makes my son happy makes me happy too.” she smiles at him, and hugs him tightly. “How is he handling this?” 

“He takes care of me well, and is patient with me.”

“That’s good to hear. I’m really happy for you. You chose the right person.” 

 

* * *

 

It’s late when he gets back to the apartment, because he spent the rest of his day with his mom. His dad follows after work, and he’s able to go home with a light heart as his dad also congratulated him for his marriage. None of them seemed to be upset that they kept it a secret, but his parents have always been so supportive. 

He wonders what even made him and Minhee to do it a secret from them. 

He’s just finishing getting dressed when the door unlocks and Minhee is shaking off his shoes in the hallway. He approaches him for a kiss that Minhee quickly reciprocates (they’ve been doing this a whole lot recently, and it feels very domestic and sweet) and he only pulls back when Minhee still can’t shake off his other shoe. 

“How was your day?” Yunseong asks as he helps him with his coat.

“Fine, kind of tiring. The marketing team weren’t listening well to my instructions.”

“How could they, when your face is so distracting?” 

“Because I’m handsome?”   


“Because you look like a homeless cat.” 

“I don’t look like a homeless cat hyung, you do!.”

He chuckles a little as he goes to sit in the sofa. “Hey I got something to tell you. Come here.”

“I also have something for you. Wait.”

Minhee stops in front of him, and he’s hiding something in his hands. Yunseong tries to pry it open, and Minhee lets him, and inside is a small velvet box. 

“The maid couldn’t find it anywhere, so for now I just bought us a new one.” 

The ring is simple, yet pretty. It’s a single gold band, but there are two lines that overlap on each other that makes it look like it’s a mobius, and it has diamonds on it. It’s classy, and when Minhee puts it on his ring finger it’s a perfect fit.

“I love you.” Minhee says as he places a kiss on his forehead, then his nose, then on the lips. Their kiss deepens, and he tugs at Minhee’s hair to pull him closer. They spend so much time making out, that Yunseong almost forgets about his news.    


“Oh hold on, I didn’t tell my news yet.” he pushes Minhee lightly.

“What is it about?” Minhee mumbles on his neck.

“The doctor told me something about this procedure, that helped other patients with memory loss to get their memories back. He wants me to consider it, if I wanted to speed up the process of memory retrieval.”

Minhee abruptly shifts position on the couch.

“—and, you’re considering it hyung?” he asks.

“Yeah, I mean why not. People didn’t die from it, and he said it was safe and effective, and—I want my memories back but I’m not making as much progress as I wish I did. It’s been a while. Most people get their memories back at this point. I can’t even function at work properly. Maybe this would be good.” 

“How are you so sure that’s so safe though, maybe like, we could just wait for your memories naturally?”

“So you don’t want me to do it.” he says, and the face Minhee gives away says he’s guilty.

“Hyung. I’m just worried about you. What if this goes wrong, and instead of getting back memories you’ll lose even more and I’m just, I can’t lose you again okay? Not this time. I thought I almost lost you. We almost lost you.” Minhee’s shaking from where he’s sitting and he’s playing with the hem of his top. “I—I couldn’t function when I found out. It was a miracle I got there in one piece. The nurses and doctors were running everywhere and I’m confused and scared, and at the time I only thought of how I didn’t want to lose you. I love you so much and I, I just don’t want you to take a risk that we aren’t so sure of. What if it damages your brain permanently? I just—” 

“I know, that you’re just worrying about me. I just thought that, if I get my memory back again, everything will be back again. I don’t have to grasp things in a dark room every time somebody talks about something that I should be knowing, and—It’s hard for me sometimes too. So I thought, yeah I might consider it. But you’re my husband, and your opinion matters to me too. I won’t subject you to something that I know would hurt you or would cause a raft between us for some reason.”

He scoops Minhee in a hug, and Minhee hugs him tightly, burying his face on Yunseong's chest. 

“I love you hyung. I’m just so scared. I hope you understand.” 

“I know. I know.” 

 

* * *

 

Yunseong was allowed to leave work early that day, and he decided to go home early so he can prepare something and maybe try and cook for Minhee. Minhee always babied him to a certain extent by preparing food for him and helping him with things, and he wants to do a little something to counter it back. 

After living with Minhee, he feels this fondness for him. It was different from when they were just friends in college and hung around a lot. This time it felt serious, just from the way that he feels light whenever Minhee comes to his mind. 

Back then when they were in college, Minhee stuck to him like glue and was persistent to do a lot of things to get Yunseong’s attention. Yunseong used to be quiet and shy and Minhee was every opposite of that. But for some reason Minhee liked him, and he was aware of that. Minhee would always joke around that they should date, and that he loves Yunseong, but he never really said a word about it. He liked Minhee too, but it wasn’t to that point yet where he can say that he reciprocates the same amount of feelings. That’s why he didn’t push him away, but doted on him way more in their circle of friends. 

But as they spend time living together he begins to see small things he never noticed with Minhee and finds it all endearing. Even Minhee’s breathing during his sleep is now adorable for him. The way Minhee gently taps on his cheek to wake him up in the morning. The way Minhee’s eyes turn into tiny crescents. When Minhee calls his name. It feels like Minhee is the sea, and he’s drowning on all of him. 

He arrives in their home a bit faster than expected since it wasn’t rush hour, and as he’s slipping out of his shoes he hears Minhee’s voice coming from somewhere.

He quietly looks around and detects Minhee’s voice coming out from their bedroom.

“—panicked okay? I don’t know what got to me but now I’m stuck here! I’m so scared hyung… what if he finds out? I can’t tell him now either because he would hate me!” Minhee is freaking out over the line to whoever he’s talking to… and Yunseong feels like he’s hearing something that he shouldn’t.

“I know it’s stupid… Please help me hyung… He wants to have his memories back and i don’t want to take that away from him. I feel like a criminal and it's eating me from the inside. Yes, yes—” Minhee’s breath is getting shorter the longer he speaks, and it’s like he’s panicking. “—I love him so much, but if he finds out I lied to him about our marriage then we are done. Through and through.” 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minhee wants to hit his head against the wall and lose his memories as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter about minhee's side will go back and forth between the past and present so just a heads up on that! 
> 
> dont forget to leave a comment and kudos after to let me know what you think uwu

Yunseong was Minhee’s everything when they were still in university.

He had never liked anybody else other than him, because nobody really compares.

Yunseong was that senior everybody admired because he was hard working and you can’t really say anything bad about him because he doesn’t do anything bad. He’s sociable in a small percentage compared to him, but he was lucky that they had mutual friends so he got to know him better.

The more they spent time together back then, the more Minhee fell in love.

He was so sure Yunseong is the one; He’d had crushes when he was in high school but when he met Yunseong he can actually imagine himself being with him for the rest of his life. It was crazy, and Jungmo often hit him in the head because of it.

Yunseong treated him like the way he treated his friends, hanging out with them and making jokes and offering them food when he has one. Minhee liked it, he felt like a stray cat that was suddenly taken in and given a home and food. But as time passes, his desire grew and he doesn’t want to be just a stray cat. He doesn’t want to be just Yunseong’s friend. He doesn’t know if Yunseong feels the same (or what Yunseong feels in general because he’s kind of hard to decipher) so he kept his mouth shut and enjoyed what they had—afraid that he might lose Yunseong if he acted upon his feelings. He and Yunseong were in the same dance club, so compared to the rest they spent even more time together. They used to hang out in a dance studio Yunseong’s friend owns, and they’d spent nights there practicing routine or he’d stay doing his homework while Yunseong choreographs in front of him.

Their friends and acquaintances in campus always asked if they were dating, and Yunseong would always just smile and with that Minhee was the one who was obligated to say the ‘no we’re not haha’ blanket statement every time it happens.

Minhee wanted to say they are, for the longest time, but they’re not.

 

* * *

 

It’s a weekend, and he and Yunseong are watching some show on the living room, with Minhee tucked beside Yunseong. Yunseong has his right arm around him, and he’s leaning on the older’s chest. He can feel the rise and fall of Yunseong’s breath, and it calms him down. He can smell Yunseong’s perfume, and just inhaling it almost lulls him to sleep. He puts his arms around Yunseong, hugging him in the waist as they watch TV like that.

He treasures moments like these, the small things.

If he went back in time and told his teenager self that Yunseong would be living with him in the future and they’d get to spend time sleeping on the same bed or cuddling on the couch, his younger self probably wouldn’t believe it.

He can’t even believe it himself either.

Yunseong is chewing on some popcorn when he kisses Minhee on the top of his head, and Minhee’s heartbeat doubles almost immediately. They’ve been doing this a lot ever since Yunseong came home from the accident but it always has the same effect on Minhee. Like the first time.

“Do you want to go on a date?” Yunseong proposes, and he nods almost immediately.

“Yeah where do you want to go?” he asks him, looking up from where he’s hugging him.  
“What places did we usually go to for dates back then?” Yunseong asks, and Minhee immediately goes on thinking mode.

Yunseong’s questions often revolved around his forgotten past, as expected, and Minhee tries hard to come up with believable lies that are cohesive with the previous stuff he said before. He has actually started a password protected note in his phone where he keeps track of the things he says, just in case he forgets and Yunseong asks him again.

He knows it’s bad, to blatantly lie to Yunseong like that, but he just can’t help himself—not if Yunseong is with him.

Jungmo had always told him he’s smart, but when it comes to Yunseong his love dumbs him down and his mind is always on error mode.

“We liked going to arcades, amusement parks, movies…anything really. I like it just because we’re together.” Minhee says, and it’s not really a lie. They used to go out to literally everything, from Everland to those food stalls and food parks that suddenly popped out and hit big on social media sites. They would usually drag a friend or two, it used to be Hyeongjun or Junho back then, and then spend their nights drinking and eating. Usually Yunseong always dragged him to his dorm because he was too drunk to function.

“I think I want to go to an arcade. I don’t think I’m still ready for extreme rides in an amusement park.” Yunseong says after thinking, and Minhee nods.

“When should we go?”

“Later? I want to take a nap first.”

“Yeah.”

Yunseong draws down the backrest of their sofa so it becomes a bed, and he plops down patting Minhee to do the same beside him. Yunseong lies flat on his back and Minhee scoots over so lie down beside him hugging him again in the waist. He’s using Yunseong’s arm as his pillow and he looks up to see Yunseong staring at him.

“What are you looking at?” he asks the older male, and Yunseong gives a small smile.

“I’m looking at the person I love.” Yunseong says, and Minhee breaks into his cat-like smile and gives Yunseong a kiss on the lips. Minhee isn’t religious, but he prays, however bad it might be, that Yunseong never remembers.

 

* * *

  
Minhee wasn’t absolutely completely lying to Yunseong though.

Eventually they do end up together while they were still in university.

It’s a few months before Yunseong’s graduation, and Yunseong was busy with his thesis papers. He had to stop his activities with the dance club for a while to finish everything just on time for the defense, and so that he could graduate on time. He often hung out less with their circle of friends as expected, and it was fine—they understood the urgency.

That also entailed that Minhee got to see him less, and he missed him badly.

He got so used to them being together practically almost everytime that they moment they weren’t together it was glaringly obvious and it made Minhee sad as the days passed that he barely saw him. They get to chat, but it’s always just a few sentences.

Minhee got scared.

 _Is this the way that I’m gonna lose him?_ was the thought that always bothered him, and it made him sleepless at night.

He thought of it, if he should take the leap of faith and confess to Yunseong even if there’s a chance that it might make things awkward between them and their friends if Yunseong doesn’t like him back. It had been years at this point, and his love for him did not even waver, in fact it even got stronger the more that Minhee to know him and discover other facets of him—like how he likes being considered and called petite even though most people thought he was just quiet and masculine, and how he liked wearing the same outfits over and over until he wears them out, and how he liked patting Minhee on the head when Minhee is around just for no particular reason at all. The small things. Yunseong was never really into grand gestures anyway.

It bugged him for nights and he couldn’t sleep, so he decided to get a second opinion.

The first person he told was Junho and Eunsang, while he was third wheeling on their date.

“You should tell him. There’s no better time like today, or next week, or whenever you want to tell him.” Junho says, and Eunsang nods as he chews his meat.

“We can’t really say that he likes you or not—nobody really knows what’s always going on in his head—but I agree. If you don’t do it, you’ll just keep on regretting and thinking about it in the future thinking why you didn’t do it. He’s going to be your The One That Got Away.” Eunsang says after swallowing whatever he was eating, and Junho points his chopstick at him.

“This is why I dated you.” Junho pinched his cheek and Eunsang just grins and Minhee makes a gagging sound.

“Have you told Jungmo hyung?” Junho asks and he shakes his head.

“I was going to ask for his opinion next.”

“He’s the closest to Yunseong, so I bet he can give you a less vague response than us. I mean, I’m close with hyung because he’s my cousin, but it’s not like he tells me things about his feelings and stuff like that.”  
Minhee eventually goes to Jungmo and asks him for an opinion and he tells him to go for it.

“If, on the event that he tells you he’s not into you, I’m going to punch him—no I’m kidding. Look, he’s not going to avoid you worse comes to worst. Yunseong’s not like that. If he rejects you, he’ll probably just pretend you never confessed to him at all.” Jungmo says as he sips the coffee Minhee bought him (which Minhee is still in rage for, because Jungmo was the richest person in their club but his stingy ass doesn’t want to spend money).

“It’s been years now, and your friendship is still going strong. Dating is temporary, but being friends are forever. Whatever happens, we’ll be here with you to help you, and I know that Yunseong won’t just throw away your friendship just over something like that.”

“Wow hyung, I never thought you could say something so profound—“

“Shut up Minhee do you want my advice or not—“

“I do…”

He clears his mind, and waits for Yunseong’s schedule to free up.

Yunseong finished his thesis and defended it successfully, so he’s now on the roster of the graduating students. He cheerfully informed the group in their group chat, and had demanded that all of them gather so he can treat everyone to drinks and food.

The group gathers in one of their favorite places, a restaurant near campus. Everybody was there, from Minkyu to Eunsang, to even Yohan and Kookheon and Dongyun. There were more or less 20 people, since it’s their circle and friends of friends that were mutuals also with each other. Yunseong looked refreshed and happy throughout, enthusiastically engaging in conversations and laughing with their circle.

Minhee hadn’t talked to him yet, because he was preoccupied on watching him interact happily like that. Minhee was just focused on Yunseong the entire night that at some point somebody slaps a tissue in his face—Wonjin—and tells him to wipe his drool.

He only gets the chance to talk with Yunseong when everyone is drunk and noisy inside, and Yunseong steps out to take a call from his mom.

Minhee steps out just in time when Yunseong hangs up the call and then turns to smile at Minhee when he had walked out in the entrance.

“I haven’t seen you in a while.” Yunseong says, patting him on the head. “You’ve grown.”

“You talk like I was a toddler when you last saw me.” he says and Yunseong laughs.

“I missed your snarky remarks.” Yunseong says as he fiddles with his phone. “Nobody was there to entertain me while I did my work. Nobody was calling me hyung every 5 minutes.”

“You could’ve told me. I would’ve called you every 5 minutes just so I can annoy you.”

"Then I wouldn’t get any work done.”

“Then you won’t graduate yet and you can spend more time with me.” he says, and only realizes what he said dropped when the words already left his mouth.

“Do you want to spend more time with me?” Yunseong asks, and Minhee feels the tip of his ears redden.

“What if I say yes?”

Yunseong doesn’t replies, but smiles at him fondly and rocks himself back and forth on the gravel on his heels. Minhee feels like the time is right, and Yunseong is waiting for him to say something—so he goes ahead.

“Hyung. I’ve liked you a lot.”

“I know.”

“No, not just like _like_. I like you as more than a friend.”

Yunseong hums. Minhee feels like his chest is going to burst, waiting for Yunseong to say something. Every second that passes feels like eternity and he’s so nervous—the lack of response can only mean that Yunseong doesn’t like him back—and then—

“I love you too Minhee.”

Minhee feels frozen in his spot, and the wind that blew then felt like it was enough to put him down because what Yunseong said made him weightless.

“I’ve been thinking of it, and when I didn’t get the longest chance to spend time with you, the more I missed you. It felt weird not having you beside me, and I thought it was because I was just used to you being there beside me all the time.” Yunseong explains, and Minhee is breathing through his mouth because there doesn’t seem to be enough oxygen around for him. “Then I realized that it’s because I like you, and I want to hug you and be with you.”

“I missed you too hyung. A lot. I kept on thinking about you when I couldn’t see you too, and I wanted to run to you.” Minhee admits, and Yunseong laughs a little.

“We should’ve met up sooner.” Yunseong comments to which he smiles at.

“Hyung, can you hold my hand?” Minhee asks and Yunseong reaches out his hand.

“What for?”

“I feel like I’m floating.” Minhee admits, and Yunseong laughs.

“Okay, I’ll hold your hand and won’t let you go.” Yunseong squeezes Minhee’s hand as he says it, and Yunseong doesn’t let it go even as they went inside, and returned to the table. Their friends are drunkenly yelling about them holding hands.

Later that night after they have dragged all their drunken friends back to the dorms, Yunseong kisses Minhee good night outside his dorm room, their first kiss, and Minhee had to suffer from the worst hangover of his life because he couldn’t sleep from happiness.

 

* * *

  
They go to the arcade, and Yunseong wanted to try every single game just to test if he remembers anything from their past dates. Minhee lets him be, and they spend every single token competing against each other on the games. Yunseong seems to be in a good mood recently and Minhee is thankful—he had also stopped talking about the procedure too which made Minhee more at ease.

They play almost all the games that Yunseong wants to try, and it makes Minhee feel like they were in college again and their group of friends had made bets in the arcade. It was a very distant but fond memory for him, and he can’t help but smile as he watches Yunseong smile.  
When they have already exhausted themselves from the games as they had acted like teenagers again trying arcade for the first time, Yunseong spots a camera booth and drags Minhee in.

“Let’s take a picture.” Yunseong says, and Minhee immediately nods.

He does the settings for the two of them, and Yunseong holds him close for the picture. They try various poses and when the photos come out it looked so adorable that Minhee’s so sure he’s going to frame it in their apartment.

They get a copy each of the pictures, and Minhee sees Yunseong putting it on display in his wallet.

They eventually settle in a coffee shop nearby, where they spend their time talking and stalking their common mutual friends that Yunseong doesn’t remember. Yunseong kept on reiterating that he wants to see them or hang out with them and Minhee promises that he’ll contact them, but then again don’t get too excited because they are too busy with their personal lives.

Which is both true and a lie.

The only other person that knows the entire truth beside him is Jungmo, and he doesn’t know if the others know—they might have known some little details but not the whole picture. Not unless Yunseong told them pre-accident, but he doubts that. Yunseong never had the time.

It was one of the major things that caused their drift apart.

 

* * *

 

  
When Yunseong graduated, he moved in to an apartment, and took Minhee with him.

Yunseong got into an early acceptance program to his dream company, and he was practically technically employed already even before graduating. Everybody in their group of friends celebrated that, they all knew Yunseong was a good student and did his best with his studies.

By the time he graduated he was already working, and both of them were in the middle stages of their relationship.

They have begun dating ever since the confession happened, and nothing really changed much. The only thing that was added was that they were exclusive already, and Minhee gets to kiss Yunseong and call him his officially.

Living together was a big thing for their relationship. They have practically known each other for years so cohabitation was not a problem, but living together as a couple was another level of challenge.

They would often get into small fights over the littlest things, like the laundry or closing the bathroom door or changing the bedsheets, dumb domestic stuff that shouldn’t even be a big deal; and yet they were fighting over it, prompting Yunseong to do his work silently in the living room ignoring Minhee ranting in their bedroom. Things like that happened. By the end of the day still they settled it before sleeping, with both of them always apologizing each other, and sleep in each other’s arms. Minhee knew that dating and living in together was not going to be a smooth sailing ride, so he prepared himself for moments like this where he would be so mad to think that why did he even want this in the first place. But then he would see Yunseong sitting across him focused on his work, eyeglasses on busy with whatever he’s doing but would still make the time to lift his head up and give Minhee a kiss every time he passes by makes him think that it was worth it bearing all. They could make it work.

The first three years went by as quick as Minhee blinked.

He graduated university and worked in various jobs, he always left because better and better offers always came as he was a top performer and a good employee with his work, and Yunseong kept on putting in more and more hours and received one promotion after another. Both of them were excelling, and without them knowing time passed by just like that. Yunseong got promoted in a supervisory post in under 3 years, and Minhee had consultancy jobs that paid well since he had a lot of time and was able to afford the penthouse that they’re currently living in.

He and Yunseong moved in together in his penthouse.

The idea of marriage was something that Minhee had fancied, ever since he was in college even. He wanted to be married to Yunseong. That was a long time goal that he had—it used to be a dream, until they began dating and it became a goal now.

Moving into the penthouse, Minhee thought that maybe it was time for them to move a step up in their relationship. They’ve been dating for a while, knew each other even longer, and are living together. All that was needed was their vows and rings and that’s that.

But everytime he opened up the topic to Yunseong he would just hum and even sometimes pretend that he wasn’t hearing Minhee.

Minhee doesn’t know what’s wrong.

He would talk about how this friend is marrying that friend after this many years of dating, and then Yunseong would just say good for them or nod. It was frustrating to Minhee. He knows Yunseong isn’t oblivious anymore to this advances and subtleties since they have already been living together for so long, it’s just that Yunseong is blatantly ignoring it. It was like talking to a wall, and it wouldn’t budge.

He opens it up head on one night that they were driving home from work. Minhee was driving and he picked up Yunseong from work—it was already somewhere around 1am and if Minhee hadn’t arrived Yunseong would probably live in the office then. Yunseong is sitting in the shotgun seat typing away at his phone, and Minhee sighs as he grips the steering wheel.

“Hyung, do you want to get married?” he asks, and Yunseong doesn’t even look up from his phone.

“Are you proposing to me right now?”

“No, I was just asking.”

“I don’t know.” Yunseong drags the words, and Minhee feels his grip on the wheel tighten.

“Why not? We’ve been together for years, knew each other even longer and we live together.”

"Exactly. What difference does it make even?” Yunseong says, and Minhee stops the car on the side.

“The difference is that, we’ll be married. You and me.” He says, turning to face Yunseong. Yunseong had finally looked up from his phone and he has his stern face on like he always did.

“I’m perfectly fine with how we are right now.” Yunseong says, and Minhee feels incredulous.

“You are?”

“And you aren’t?” Yunseong shots back at him, and Minhee takes a deep breath.

“I don’t want to argue with you.”

“We’re not arguing. I’m just asking you a simple question Minhee. You asked me first and I answered. You asked again, and I asked back. What’s so difficult about that?” Yunseong is irritated, as he speaks in a tone he only does when he’s already done with a conversation.

“Don’t talk to me like that.” He snaps at Yunseong.

“Like what?”

“Like _that_. I’m not your subordinate. Don’t talk to me like that.” He says and Yunseong pursues his lips, looking at the window clearly disinterested in anything else that Minhee had to say.

They spent the rest of their ride back home quiet, and when they both entered the unit Minhee immediately went to the bathroom to lock himself in as he takes deep breaths. He never liked fighting with Yunseong. The older would tend to say things in a way that it would always hurt no matter how right or wrong it is, and it pained Minhee always.

That night Minhee sleeps on the bed facing the other side, away from Yunseong.

The lights are off but he knows Yunseong isn’t asleep yet, and that the latter is aware.  
A few minutes later Yunseong shifts in his position and scoots over to Minhee, putting an arm around him.

“I’m sorry for earlier.” Yunseong says, and Minhee closes his eyes shut even further even though Yunseong couldn’t see it. “I don’t have any words to justify what I said and did but I’m sorry. Let’s not fight again.”

Minhee has heard it a few times now, Yunseong apologizing. By the end of the day he always gives in to it even though Yunseong was in the wrong and that he should be more firm towards him. But love really is functioned for people to always be able to give second chances and even more, as Minhee finds himself turning and facing Yunseong.

“It’s just that we never talk about our future together—and I want a future with you.” Minhee admits. “Not talking about it makes me feel like I’m the only one who has you in my plans and you don’t have me in yours.”

Yunseong reaches to caress his cheek softly, and Minhee exhales.

“I love you. Just because I don’t talk about it, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not in my future plans. It’s just that work is always so hectic, and there’s just a lot of responsibility and expectations on my plate and I tend to stretch myself to reach all of that. You know what I’m like. I can’t think of marriage or anything yet because of it, and I have you here now so I never felt the need to.”

Minhee knows he’s supposed to be comforted by it, however he still feels sullen from the words Yunseong said.

“I’m working hard so in the future it could be just you and me, so we can have a better future together.” Yunseong reassures him before kissing him on his forehead. “Kang Minhee. I love you, okay? Don’t forget that. I love you so much. Remember that.”

“I love you too.” Minhee buries his face on Yunseong’s neck as he hugs him to sleep.

 

* * *

  
Jungmo called him early in the morning, saying that he’s flying back to Korea.  
Minhee feels relieved.

Jungmo is originally Yunseong’s best friend since college, but eventually he became Minhee’s closest friend too. Minhee could tell him everything and Jungmo would judge him occasionally, but for good reason.

“I’m bringing Wonjin and Hyeongjun with me, so let’s eat out.” Jungmo says over the line before boarding the plane.

“Was that Jungmo?” Yunseong asks as he dries his hair with a towel. He just currently finished taking a shower the same time Minhee ended the call. 

“Yeah, he says he’s coming back from his trip.”

“I haven’t seen him since forever, as far as I remember. Should we meet up with him?” Yunseong asks of him, and Minhee feels guilty that he had refused a lot of Yunseong’s requests to meet up their friends before so he agrees.

Lying to Yunseong was one thing, but lying to every single common friend that they have is something else and it’s the thing that Minhee wants to avoid. Not that lying to Yunseong was something good, it’s horrible, and it still eats him every single day.

Jungmo arrives at night and demands a meetup the day after, so Minhee brings Yunseong along with him to the address that Jungmo sent. It’s a high end restaurant yet again, nothing too surprising but even fancier than the ones they go to before. Yunseong is just quiet beside him, looking around, and he asks the staff for their room.

When they entered the room Wonjin and Hyeongjun were already there, and they both hug each other.

“We haven’t seen you for a long time hyung. How have you been?” Hyeongjun asks as they all sit down, and Yunseong smiles.

“I’ve been fine. Recovering. I lost 5 years of my memory.”

“Wow, that’s severe. But you look like you’re handling it well.”

“Well, I have Minhee by my side to help me remember, so I guess it’s going well.”

“Well that’s news, considering it’s Minhee.” Wonjin retorts and Minhee hits him in the arm.

“Some things never change.” Yunseong comments as he laughs and takes Minhee’s hand on his own. Minhee can see Wonjin eyeing him but he doesn’t comment on it—not yet—and orders some wine that they could drink and placed it on Jungmo’s tab.  
Wonjin and Hyeongjun chats with Yunseong as the older male asks questions on what happened in their lives in the last five years, and Minhee is constantly on the edge of his seat listening to the conversation just in case something slips.

Jungmo arrives late as usual, greeting Minhee with a hug as well as Yunseong.  
Their table becomes noisy upon the completion, and Minhee can see that Yunseong is having a good time with their friends. His hand is being held by the older male under the table, and Yunseong would often rub circles on the back of his palm using his thumb. Minhee leans his head on Yunseong’s shoulder as they listen to Jungmo tell stories about his trip overseas.  
Minhee is waiting if Yunseong is going to say something about them but he doesn’t, he just sits there and listens and laughs to the stories.

They ask him on how it feels like to have his memories lost and Yunseong says it’s frustrating especially for work because he had to relearn it all again, and sometimes he feel like he’s not himself. Minhee frowns on that, he didn’t realize that Yunseong must’ve felt like that at some point and the emotions that he has begin to bubble from the pit of his stomach.

“…My husband had been more than helpful in taking care of me and making sure I was alright despite everything that happened and I’m thankful for Minhee always.” Yunseong says and Wonjin chokes on the water that he was drinking.

“What was said?” he asks and Yunseong laughs embarrassed.

“Minhee and I had gotten married before the accident.” Yunseong shows off his ring that Minhee bought and Hyeongjun and Wonjin’s eyes widen at them.

“How are we not invited to this event Kang Minhee? Your best friends?”

“Ah, we just wanted a quiet affair so we just didn’t invite anyone.” Yunseong speaks up for Minhee.

“That’s cool! I still wish you could’ve invited us but congratulations hyung.” Hyeongjun cheers on them and raises a wine glass to make a toast.

Yunseong excuses himself to go to the restroom after that and Hyeongjun joins him. The moment that they’re out of earshot Jungmo hits Minhee in the arm.

“Kang Minhee. What have you done?” Jungmo asks him and he shakes his head.

“What has Minhee done?” Wonjin asks from across the table as he sips his drink.

“He lied to Yunseong.” Jungmo says and Wonjin immediately sits up.

“Hold on… are you two not married?” Wonjin thinks faster than the speed of light and Minhee looks down on his drink.

“I was afraid that I’d lose him. He was barely saved from the accident and I felt so guilty from everything. I thought that I had a second chance when he woke up again.” Minhee explains and it’s true. When the hospital had told him Yunseong might not make it he was crying so hard and his heart felt heavy that he just sunk on the hospital floor. So when Yunseong woke up having lost his memories Minhee thought it was a way for him, a second chance to save them. Yunseong doesn’t remember anything, not even the most recent details of what happened between them. He lied, and at the time it was the only thing that he could think of because he was desperate and he wanted his old Yunseong back so badly.

“Does he know that you’re lying?” Wonjin asks and Minhee shrugs.

“No, he still hasn’t gotten any of his memories back at all. He suggested doing this treatment that fixes up the memory part of the brain that was offered by the hospital but I begged him not to do it…”

“That’s messed up man.” 

“But I can’t help it because at least he’s here and he’s like his old self again and he loves me again and I would rather have that than…”

“What are you guys talking about?” Hyeongjun says as he sits back down and Yunseong trailed after, taking his seat back beside Minhee.

“Just this movie that Minhee watched. It’s really good. Very angsty.” Wonjin comments and Jungmo kicks him under the table.

“Oh cool what’s the title?”

“Nothing that you should know of, Hyeongjun. It’s a rated film not for babies under 16.”

“I’m past the 20 year old mark and you still keep on babying me.”

“You’ll forever and always be our baby Hyeongjun even if you’re gray and balding.”

“Okay, so shall we eat? I’m hungry.” Jungmo clears his throat and the topic is changed to the menu. Wonjin and Hyeongjun are still bickering but on a different topic this time.

“I missed you.” Yunseong whispers to his ear and he blushes red.

“You literally just went to the restroom.”

“But I still missed you, is that bad?”

They’re whispering to each other and Minhee loves it, but their moment was ruined when both Hyeongjun and Wonjin tells them to get a room.

Jungmo talks to him in private when the others are getting drinks in the bar and asks him on what he plans on doing next.

“I don’t know… I really don’t know… it’s been months and he doesn’t show any progress with regards to his memories so…”

“So you hope he doesn’t get his memories back at all? Hey. Kang Minhee. Pull yourself together. He might have done something bad before, but you shouldn’t be doing this to him.” Jungmo scolds him, and he bites his lip. Jungmo is right, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

“I know what you’re thinking, but think of it this way. What if you were the one who lost memories? Yunseong tells you that you’re married to him. You believe because it’s Yunseong, and you live happily ever after. Until you get your memories, and find out Yunseong was lying to you and all at once you remember all the things that happened between you two that led up to this moment. I’m not siding with you, or Yunseong. But this is the way it goes Minhee. Either way, by the end of the day, you have already lied to him, as much as he had lied to you before, and it’s just a matter now of whether are you going to do the right thing or not. I can’t tell you anymore other than that.”

“Okay.” He says, and Jungmo pats him on the back.

“It’s not going to be pretty, but we’ll be here for you if ever you need us.”

“Thanks hyung, I needed that.”

 

* * *

  
Minhee knows there’s something wrong with him and Yunseong.

Yunseong did mention every now and then that he’s up again yet for another promotion, and that the company is putting even more pressure on him and his team to finish this major project that would be pivotal for the development of the company. Yunseong practically lived in the office, because he didn’t like taking work home during the latter days as he had to constantly coordinate with his team. Minhee ended up mostly waiting for nothing, or picking him up forcefully in some nights. Yunseong would go, too tired to even hold up a single conversation. He’s stretching himself too thin over work, and Minhee feels bad to see him like that. Minhee understands, there are days that he has to extend something at work because it was urgent and he even made his teams stay with him as well, but he asks himself whether that it was valid of a reason to act like that to Yunseong if it were the other way around. It wasn’t right, and Minhee wishes he could correct it.

On top of that, Yunseong was very dodgy with regards to his questions.

Back when Yunseong was just working he eagerly told Minhee of all his work adventures and were well acquainted with his colleagues through the stories that he told. Eventually as years passed Yunseong became less and less chatty with his work, and whenever Minhee would be asking him on this or that he would reply noncommittally. It felt like Yunseong didn’t want to talk with him, and it frustrated him a lot. What was he supposed to act like there? A display? A Standee? He felt horrible receiving that kind of cold treatment from Yunseong, and he could barely even confront him about it because Yunseong was either on work, too busy, or tired and asleep. It’s like he was making ways on how to avoid Minhee even though they were living together.  
The last straw for him would have to be the time where he was asking Yunseong out for lunch even just for a little while because they haven’t eaten out together for quite some time, and Yunseong declines claiming he was busy with work.

Minhee would have let it pass and believed it, until he was out looking for a place to eat at and spots Yunseong walking in the mall with some guy wearing business clothes just like him. The guy was a little bit shorter than Yunseong, had pale gray violet hair and both of them were laughing at something that was being said. Yunseong had some paper bag with him, which meant they also did some shopping, and Minhee’s hands immediately went to his phone for the speed dial.

Yunseong’s phone rings, and Minhee breathes shakily as Yunseong pulls out his phone from afar and he and the other guy stopped walking.

“Hyung where are you?” Minhee asks casually, hands shaking.

“I’m at the office. I told you, I’m busy.” Yunseong says over the line, and Minhee knows he’s now blatantly lying. “What’s the problem?”

“Ah, nothing, I was just checking up on you. Please don’t forget to eat.” He reminds him, and hopes Yunseong doesn’t notice his shaky voice.

“Okay. You too Minhee. I love you.” Yunseong says over the line and Minhee bites his lip hard to stop himself from crying out then and there.

“I love you too hyung. Bye.” He drops the call and immediately goes home, feeling too betrayed and broken to do anything at the moment. Yunseong goes home later that night, and Minhee pretends as if he never saw Yunseong earlier in the day. Yunseong seems to be in a good mood, smiling and being cuddly with Minhee but he wasn’t in the mood to reciprocate. Not when Yunseong declined lunch with him to go out with that guy, whoever he was that made Yunseong lie to him in the face. He felt really stupid, how he never caught on earlier. The overstaying at work and the dodgy answers to his questions, all of it were because of that.

Yunseong always told him to remember that he loves him, but he wonders if it were really true in the end. Maybe Yunseong just kept him because he was convenient? Because he was just there? Minhee felt cheated on, and he was.

Yunseong kept on with his usual routine, staying at work too late and being warm and cold on Minhee depending on which day it was. Minhee felt like it was walking on eggshells with Yunseong, and it was tiring. He’d thought of pressing him again, but he knows Yunseong would either pretend he isn’t listening or get irritated or something… anything just to avoid a confrontation with Minhee.

Minhee thinks hard, that it takes him days after to finally come up with a conclusion.

Yunseong was always too busy to talk or listen to him, so he just straight up texts him one day, it was during lunch time, because he knows that Yunseong would have no excuse to not see it.

_I can’t do this anymore. Let’s separate ways. You can come and pick up your things tonight. Please don’t contact me anymore after this._

A couple of minutes after sending the message his phone began ringing, and he can see Yunseong’s name pop up from the screen. He ends the call a couple of times, but Yunseong keeps on dialing him over and over.

On the nth time that it rings, Minhee answers just because he couldn’t help himself.

“Minhee. What’s going on?” Yunseong asks over the line and Minhee could easily identify that Yunseong is walking as he talks. “We can talk this through. I’m coming home right now. Are you there? Are you in the office? I’ll go wherever you are. Let me talk to you.”

“I’ve said what I’ve needed to say.” He replies, tears streaming on his face. It was still Yunseong after all, the man whom he’d loved so much.

“Please Minhee. I’m coming over. Let’s talk about this before we make-“ he ends the call abruptly as he drops his phone on the bed. Hearing Yunseong’s voice pains him more, and the fact that he sounded _desperate_ … Minhee just couldn’t.

Minhee’s head is throbbing from a headache, so he drinks medicine as he lies down on the bed. He tried wiping the tears off his face but it just continues, so he lets himself lie down there with a heavy heart weighing him. He falls asleep from the headache and crying, and it’s already night time when he opens his eyes to a lot of rings from Yunseong’s mobile. He takes his phone and checks the messages, thinking it would be just Yunseong repeatedly asking him to talk to him.

Except, it wasn’t.

 

* * *

  
_Minhee._

_Answer the call._

_Kang Minhee._

_Minhee, are you home? I’m almost there._

_Please._

_Min_

_This is from the Seoul Police Department. Mr. Hwang Yunseong is currently admitted to Seoul National Hospital after suffering from a major car accident near Gangnam. Please come as soon as you read this message._

 

* * *

 

  
Yunseong had been perky these past few days.

He’s kind of like his old self, but at the same time he isn’t. Minhee doesn’t know where he stands, all he knows is that it’s a completely new Yunseong that he can get accustomed to.

He’s sweet to Minhee, and is the most perfect husband that Minhee could ever dream of. Minhee wants to envelope him in a hug and never let him go. He’s sweet and funny and cheesy, and always wants to do the most for Minhee.

They’ve been on dates practically almost every other day, and they’ve been on it even more than they did back then before the accident.

Which is why every time Minhee wants to admit to him the truth, he couldn’t bear it, because it would mean that he would lose Yunseong, and he can’t lose him like that, not when everything is going so well.

Minhee wants to hit his head against the wall and lose his memories as well.

Yunseong is doing well recently, as far as he’s concerned. He seemed to have adjusted to his work fully now, and had enough time to spend with Minhee at the same time.

Yunseong even acted clingy at most times, backhugging Minhee and distracting him from his work. Minhee would always scold him that he needs to focus on his work, and Yunseong would shrug it off and just continue messing with him. It was so domestic, and Minhee is going to miss that when he tells Yunseong the truth.

It’s the weekend, and Minhee had dragged Yunseong out to a coffee shop they used to frequent before the accident. It’s near their place and was popular, but not too popular for it to be crowded always. They always went here for coffee nights and impromptu dates. Yunseong takes in the interior as they walk in and he goes to their usual seat by the back near the socket. Minhee had brought his laptop with him to do his work, and Yunseong did too, as he needed to finish a report.

“I’ll order for us.” Yunseong volunteers and he just let him be.

He had just finished setting up their laptops when Yunseong returns with a tray.

“Here’s for me, Iced Americano, and for you a Caramel Macchiato with less ice and extra milk.” Yunseong says as he puts the drink down and Minhee takes it from him, and as Minhee takes a sip he realizes that Yunseong had ordered the same thing that they usually ordered when they went here, down to the instructions with the ice and milk.

His heartbeat quickens, and his mind is moving a mile a minute.

“How did you know this? This is what we usually ordered here.” He says, trying to hide the panic in his voice.

Yunseong smiles.

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yunseong doesn’t know if he feels mad that Minhee is lying to him, or if he feels sad because of how things have turned out so bad that Minhee is forced to lie to him. Or both.

“How did you know this? This is what we usually ordered here.”

Minhee is waiting for Yunseong’s answer, and it literally feels like forever for him.

“Ah, the guy at the counter told me that we usually order this. I asked.” Yunseong says simply, and Minhee feels lightheaded from all the breath he held. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine, I just suddenly felt dizzy.” Minhee excuses himself, and Yunseong immediately puts a hand on his forehead as he doesn’t buy it.

“You don’t seem to have a fever.”

“It must be just something sudden, like blood rush or vertigo. I’m fine—don’t think about it, don’t worry about me.”

“How can I not think about you always?” Yunseong says, and there it is—Minhee’s heart beating to a tenfold like horse in a racing match.

For a while there Minhee thought he was already busted, and they were done for, and with the lying he has done Yunseong will leave him for real. Minhee can put off the confession for another more time. One last time. Just not this time.

 

* * *

 

Yunseong had been getting headaches after that.

At first it was just some simple ones that fade in a couple of minutes or hours, and then some that could be treated with medicine and a nap. Recently it has gone to the point that it’s so painful for him that he can’t even go to work or even try to sleep it off. Minhee worries about it a lot, and it is concerning. He always tries to calm him down, and reassure him that he can take the pain just for Minhee to not worry.

Where in fact, the one who worries a lot is Yunseong.

Along with these horrible headaches that he gets is flashes of memories from his past that odds him out.

There’s not a lot of memories that he gets, just bits and pieces but they all don’t look good to him. Mostly it’s because it’s just him and Minhee fighting. Minhee talking about him always putting more hours on work than him, he and Minhee having a heated conversation about marriage, and even more arguments than that. Remembering it feels weird for him because when he looks at Minhee all he can see is the Minhee now, the one that cares for him and the one who has been lying to him about their marriage.

The more Yunseong remembers the more it feels like it makes sense for him on why Minhee would lie. Their relationship doesn’t seem to look too good from what he is getting, and it would make sense that the moment Minhee gets a second chance with him not remembering anything he would jump on the gun.

Yunseong doesn’t know if he feels mad that Minhee is lying to him, or if he feels sad because of how things have turned out so bad that Minhee is forced to lie to him. Or both.

He doesn’t tell Minhee that he knows a little, not yet. Everytime he thinks about telling him he holds himself back.

He stares at Minhee from across the room, where Minhee has his laptop propped on the coffee table as he sits on the floor, legs splayed. Minhee is concentrating on his work and Yunseong finds it adorable how his face is scrunched up when he’s thinking. He looked like an upset cat, and Yunseong found it amusing.

He scoots over to where Minhee is sitting and pulls Minhee towards him, so he’s sitting on the floor beside him while Minhee is leaning on him and he has half an embrace on the latter. Minhee’s head is tucked perfectly on his shoulder and neck and he continues working on his laptop. Yunseong slides his hand underneath Minhee’s, and the younger male holds it tight as he continues scrolling on the laptop. Yunseong can smell the fruity shampoo Minhee always liked using, and he inhales the scent of him as they sit like that, wrapped in each other.

“Do you love me?” he asks Minhee out of nowhere, and Minhee turns to his right making him face to face with Yunseong for a couple of inches.

“Of course I do.” Minhee answers almost immediately.

“Even if I do bad things? Even if I hurt you? Even if I lie?” he presses on, and he can see the way Minhee’s expression rapidly changes in a couple of seconds. He can’t comprehend what it means, whether if it was sad or confused or scared or tense. This Minhee isn’t like the old Minhee he knows now, and it’s getting more evident as time passes.

He’s waiting for Minhee to answer and Minhee seems to think about it, as its taking him long.

“What’s the delay?” he jokes around to make the mood light and Minhee turns away from him.

“Even if I wanted to hate you for doing bad things, or for hurting me, by the end of the day I always end up missing you and still loving you. It’s a trait that I hate the most because I can’t even hate you without loving you twice as much.” Minhee says as he refuses to meet Yunseong in the eye.

“Okay.” Yunseong simply says, and he pulls Minhee towards him again so that Minhee’s fully resting on him and he brushes away a couple of strands away from his face. Minhee looks so beautiful, the way the curves on his face are perfect and how fair his skin is and everything about him is pretty.

“If it was the other way around, how about you? Will you still love me by the end of the day?” Minhee asks as he looks up at Yunseong from where he’s lying on his chest and Yunseong thinks about it.

If he didn’t know that Minhee was lying to him and everything is the way it is now, he’d probably say yes with all of his chest; It was undeniable that even with his memory loss he liked and loved Minhee—but as time passes by and the more he remembers, he’s not sure anymore as to where he stands. He didn’t like the fact that just when he’s already adjusting to his new life and falling more and more into Minhee, the more he wavers and slips away because of the lies that revolve around them.

“Of course.” he still tells him, and Minhee gives him a peck on the lips.

He wishes that he got all of his memories back in one go, instead of feeling like going through a paper shredder trying to find the missing strips of his memories as if it’s a needle in a haystack.

 

* * *

 

Minhee had kept Yunseong’s phone after the accident.

It was among those that were recovered from the accident, and it was how he got contacted by the police. Every time he remembers the message that was sent to him that day it gives him a dry constricted feeling in his throat, and he doesn’t like it one bit because it’s usually followed by guilt after.

Yunseong didn’t seem to question it when he just gave him a new phone when he brought him home, and just told him in passing that his phone wasn’t recovered. Yet another lie he spurred in a state of critical thinking. If Minhee earned a thousand won for every lie he probably conjured up to this point then he’d be getting enough to buy himself a coffin, because that’s where he’ll probably be—dead, once everything falls down.

When Yunseong isn’t around he brings it out from where he’s hiding it, a safe tucked under their bed that only he and Yunseong knows the passcode of—which is their anniversary. Some messages still keep on coming; mostly work related and random ones.

There’s also one particular sender that worries Minhee, which is the primary reason that he never told Yunseong he has his old phone.

There is a person named Geum Donghyun in his contacts that constantly messages Yunseong.

Minhee checked the old conversations but there isn’t much; it seemed that both of them talked more via calls than messages. Most of the messages Minhee got to read were mostly _I’m here, where are you?, I’m waiting in the parking lot already! Hurry up!,_ and _I had fun today hyung. Thank you. Next time again!_

Minhee doesn’t need to think too much to feel like this Geum Donghyun person is the guy that Yunseong spent time with during that day he saw him, and that they met a lot more frequently than he expected.

The first time Minhee saw and realized it—there came a wave of dread that kept him down, because it basically just solidifies what he had established in his head all this time. Yunseong has another man now, and Minhee was just there for decoration in his life. Minhee hated this Geum Donghyun person, whoever he is, and would never in his wildest dreams want to meet him in person or else.

There weren’t a lot of significant messages after the accident, mostly just asking _hyung?_ and just him trying to call the number over and over during instances that he had opened the phone and coincidentally the Geum Donghyun person is calling. Minhee doesn’t answer it and he would never.

One time he got curious, and looked up the name online.

Despite it being a slightly unique name, there really isn’t much. He seems to be working for some confidential firm, and it gives away nothing of his personal information. The picture is there though, despite him having black hair in the photo it’s undeniable that it’s the same person he saw with Yunseong.

Minhee was cleaning up the safe when he sees the phone and turns it on, and as usual an array of messages continuously ping the phone and when it’s done Minhee scrolls through it until he stops at a message that catches his eye.

_Hyung. I just found out about what happened. I’m flying back to Korea._

The message keeps on looping in his head and he can’t stop thinking about it.

Even as he and Yunseong watched a movie that night he couldn’t stop thinking about that Geum Donghyun going back to Korea from whichever pit of earth he came from and taking Yunseong away from him. It keeps him paranoid and up to his toes that one of these days, Yunseong might be suddenly taken away from him. He’s not ready, not now and not ever.

“Are you meeting some people in the upcoming days?” Minhee asks Yunseong when he just couldn’t help it anymore. He has to be there at least if ever Yunseong is going to meet up with Geum Donghyun despite his better judgment.

“Nope. Why’d you ask?”

“Nothing in particular. Just thought you might want me to join you.”

“Do you have that much free time?” Yunseong jokes and he shrugs.

“Not really, I just want to be with you more. Want to spend some time with you.” He reasons out and Yunseong raises an eyebrow.

“Don’t I spend enough time with you now?” Yunseong asks as he turns to Minhee.

“No it’s not that, it’s just that it’s been a while, and you’re busy with work too recently since you’ve been—“

“Why are we having this argument again Minhee?” Yunseong says pointedly, and it takes Minhee aback.

_Again?_

“What?”

“You’re always complaining like this and like that about spending time together as if I don’t spend time and live with you, can we not?” Yunseong’s voice rises a little bit in the end, and Minhee’s breath quickens. The scene is too familiar for him, too personal. They’ve had the same argument back then, long before the accident. The words are the same, and even the reason of it. It was that time Yunseong was working hard towards his promotion. Minhee remembers it because it was one of those times Yunseong walked out of him, and it upset him to the point he couldn’t sleep at night. It was a simple argument, but it always blew up to big proportions because none of them refused to back down. Yunseong got stubborn as time passed, and Minhee felt like he had to counter that as well. To hear it again out of Yunseong is an experience.

“We’re having this argument _again?_ ” Minhee repeats and Yunseong’s face is equally unreadable as much as his is at the time. “We’ve never fought ever since the accident Yunseong.”

Yunseong takes a deep breath and wipes his face with his hand, and shakes his head.

“I don’t know why I said that. It just, came out of me. I’m sorry.” He apologizes and he does look sorry, but the panic in Minhee is rising continuously, like a soda can that was shook before opening and the bubbles inside that accumulated began on pouring out.

Yunseong is definitely getting his memories back again, and Minhee’s days are numbered.

 

* * *

 

 

Yunseong is getting frustrated.

The memories he’s getting are still in fragments, and Minhee’s behavior recently is throwing him off. It feels like he’s living with two different people at the same time. Minhee feels out of his zone, like the little things get him jumpy and he’s defensive over some things. If it were any other day that Yunseong didn’t know any better, he’d be panicking over him.

But Yunseong had slipped, and now Minhee knows that he’s gaining his memories again.

It must make him paranoid, because of the lies he built around them, and Yunseong is waiting for Minhee to confront him about it.

Yunseong was never the person who always initiated things, sure he had to step up sometimes if it was really necessary but even when he was younger he needed always a push—which was why Minhee was perfect for him because Minhee had the initiative he always lacked.

He’s waiting for Minhee to explain, to tell him the truth and clarify things about him. Instead, all Minhee ever did was pretend like nothing’s wrong and that they didn’t have a relationship that was falling out before the accident.

As days passed, there was no difference, and Yunseong’s curiosity is burning the back of his head already. At first he let it passed because he still wanted to spend time with Minhee like that—he wanted to overlook it. But as much as he loved Minhee, he wanted to know the truth now—no matter how bad it is.

A clue presented itself to him one day, when he was trying to get his glasses that fell off the bedside table and his hand feels something underneath the bed, only to peek and find out that it’s a safe.

It’s not that big, probably those sizes that are for just safekeeping money or important documents.

He tried opening it with his birthday, and Minhee’s birthday but it didn’t open.

He tried one more combination in random—pressing whatever number he felt like, and it opens for him.

There are a couple of things inside, like papers and some important things—but the item that caught his eye the most was a black smartphone placed neatly in the front.

He opens the phone and waits for it to light up. The wallpaper is a picture of him and Minhee in a park, and as he looks at it a memory of that day flashes in his head. They’re both smiling for the picture, and Minhee’s head is leaning against his. It causes a mild headache after that, and Yunseong rubs his temples.

He goes immediately to the messages, and scrolls through it. He sees Minhee’s contact and opens the thread for it.

 

* * *

 

Minhee removes his shoes as he steps inside the apartment, seeing Yunseong’s shoes already placed neatly in the rack.

“You’re home early? Yunseong?” Minhee calls out to him, but he doesn’t hear a response.

He puts on his slippers and then walks to the living room, where Yunseong is sitting—staring at him.

“Have you eaten yet? I can prepare dinner for us.” he asks him, and Yunseong is still staring at him with a cold expression in his face. “What’s wrong?”

“Recently, I’ve been remembering.” Yunseong finally says after a long time of silence.

Minhee can feel the air in his lungs get knocked out momentarily.  

“—it’s not a lot, but it’s not pretty either. We’re not on good terms, aren’t we?” Yunseong asks him and Minhee feels his breathing shake. “Tell me about it.”

“I don’t know where to start—“

“How about we start from the beginning—and don’t lie to me anymore, Kang Minhee.” Yunseong is stern as he says it, and Minhee is already trying to hold back his sobs. Yunseong has a black phone in his hand, and Minhee is all too familiar with it. The tears promptly begin falling after that, and he goes to where Yunseong is sitting as he tries to hold his hand.

“I’m sorry Yunseong—I—I never wanted to lie to you but—“

“But you still lied to me.”

“I know I wanted to break up with you because everything was just too much back then but, but then the accident happened and I—“ Minhee is gasping for air through his cries. “—I saw you and you couldn’t remember anything and you were acting like your old self and I just wanted you back again like the old days—“

“You should’ve told me the truth. I heard you talking with Jungmo about lying to me.” The more Yunseong speaks the more Minhee feels like sinking into the ground from being numb and weak.

“Why—you knew all this time? Why didn’t you tell me? Why now?” Minhee tries to look into his eyes but Yunseong keeps on avoiding it, as if he doesn’t want to acknowledge Minhee’s existence.

“Because back then I gave you the benefit of the doubt, and I wanted to confront you but I waited, because I wanted it to come from you. At first I didn’t know what kind of motive you could’ve had so I was at a moot point—but after remembering pieces of things and seeing all of this that you were hiding from me I just feel disappointed and done. _You_ wanted to let me go, Minhee. _You_ were the first to let go. But the moment I lost my memories you decided you wanted me back. On top of that you kept on lying to me, about my entire life and us.” Yunseong pauses to take a deep breath. “Is this a game for you? I’m not even sure what’s real and what’s not. Did I even really love you?” Yunseong’s tone has a hint of bitterness and anger in it, but more of disappointment.

“I loved you and you loved me. That’s not a lie. I still love you even up to this day even though it literally hurts me. But I wasn’t the first one who let this go Yunseong. You were cheating on me with that Geum Donghyun person and you were hurting me. You never prioritized me and I always got the short end of the stick for everything. You told me you weren’t available if I invited you but had the audacity to go out with that Geum Donghyun. You spent more time with him probably than you ever did in this house, so you can’t just tell me that I was the first one to let go because you did it first. I tried holding on Yunseong—even if it was painful for me that you’re making me look like the stupidest person on Earth.”

“How am I supposed to believe that you’re saying the truth? You could be lying to me again for all I know. You can say anything and I’d still won’t know if it’s true or not.” Yunseong’s words felt like a slap to his face, and it might as well be that Yunseong really hit him for real than this. “You were hiding a lot of things from me. Do you think I’d still believe you?”

The feeling in Minhee’s stomach is so raw, the way it twists his insides like it’s a dry piece of cloth. He feels sick and horrible, and he couldn’t breathe from all the crying he’s been doing.

“I just—I—“ Minhee tries to talk but his mind is blank, even though he knows that he has a lot to say none of it is registering in his mind and he can’t piece things together.

“Don’t pretend and tell me that you’re sorry, because I know you’re not.” Yunseong says a bit too bitter. “If you were, you would’ve told me the truth. How much more were you planning on lying to me if I haven’t called you out on it?”

“Don’t say that. You don’t have the right to say that.” Minhee talks back and Yunseong frowns.

“Neither do you.” Yunseong rebuts and Minhee chokes in a sob. Yunseong tries to wipe his own tears with the back of his hand as he turns away from Minhee and both of them sit like that until Yunseong gets up from his seat. Minhee can see him pulling out things from their closet and Minhee wants to stop him from leaving, but he knows it’s the price he has to pay for lying to Yunseong.

“I’ll leave for now. Don’t contact me for a while.” Yunseong announces without even sparing a glance at Minhee’s pitiful form in the living room. The door closes with a loud thud as Yunseong mercilessly slams it after himself, and for the first time in a while—Minhee feels alone.

 

* * *

 

 

Yunseong’s at work—trying to bury himself in tasks in order to not think about Minhee and the fight that they’ve had a couple days ago. He’d moved back to his parents’ for the meantime and they didn’t pressure him into talking upon seeing his tear stricken face—to which he is thankful for. He doesn’t even know where to start if ever they wanted him to talk, because there was a lot to process.

He’d just finished a meeting about the new project that they’re having when one of the secretaries in the office Suyoon approaches him as he goes to his station.

“Sir, there’s someone that’s waiting for you in the lobby. He says he’s Geum Donghyun?” Suyoon says after bowing at Yunseong. “I told him that you were in a meeting but he said he’s willing to wait.”  

“Geum Donghyun?” Yunseong repeats, the name familiar to him. It takes him a while to realize that it was the name that Minhee mentioned in their argument.

“Yes sir. Should I tell him you’re coming over?” Suyoon asks and he nods.

“Yes. Can we use one of the meeting rooms?”

“I’ll prepare it for you sir.” Suyoon gracefully makes her way out and as Yunseong puts down his materials he repeats the name in his lips.

_Geum Donghyun, Geum Donghyun—who are you to my life and was Minhee lying to me again?_

When he opens the door to the meeting room, a guy with jet black hair and thin eyes, younger than him definitely—immediately jumps up from his seat and looks at him with a weird expression Yunseong couldn’t place.

“Hyung.” Geum Donghyun says, and he just stands there awkwardly.

“I’m sorry, but you’re Geum Donghyun?” he says carefully, and the latter frowns.

“You don’t remember me?”

“Unfortunately I was in an accident and I lost my memories.” Yunseong explains and Geum Donghyun nods. “I have only gotten a few of it back, so pardon me for not remembering who you are.”

Yunseong sits adjacent to him and Geum Donghyun nods.

Yunseong is actually nervous. Is this the Geum Donghyun that he cheated on Minhee with?

He tries to find some connection in him the way that he did with Minhee, but he feels nothing. He’s a complete stranger to him. 

“I see.  It’s fine. I actually worried when you stopped contacting me, and I only found out from a friend of a common friend that you got in an accident recently, that’s why I booked the earliest flight I can get.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, but how am I related to you?” Yunseong asks, choosing his words carefully. He gets it done and over with, before his mind explodes from over analyzing.

“I’m an event organizer. A business partner referred me to you for discreet services, and you were planning a wedding for you and your partner before we lost contact.”

Yunseong felt like he had to blink a couple of times as he processed the information that Donghyun told him.

“I was—planning what?”

“You wanted to surprise Minhee with a secret wedding and needed a discreet service provider, hence my role in this. I was surprised that you didn’t suddenly contact me—not when we already got the rings and all. It was supposedly scheduled a couple of weeks ago, so we were trying to contact you a lot. I had to find another way since you weren’t replying on your number.’ Donghyun explains and Yunseong leans back on his chair trying to process everything.

“Is something the matter?” Donghyun asks and he shakes his head.

“I’m just trying to process this—because this is completely different from what I thought was happening—“ Yunseong runs his fingers through his hair as he thinks of it.

“It’s understandable hyung. I mean from what you’ve told me, you never told anybody else—so this might come as a shock to you as well considering you don’t remember.”

Yunseong tries to think of it, of how Minhee wanted to break up with him before the accident because he thought he was cheating with Donghyun—but it turns out that he was planning to get married to him all along. Yunseong doesn’t know why they kept on fighting, but if he wanted to marry Minhee already then it must mean that his memories are tricking him or something is not adding up.

Donghyun pulls out something from under and slides it on the table in front of Yunseong.

“You told me to keep the rings because Minhee would definitely find out about it if you took it home.”

Yunseong fishes out a small velvet box from the small paper bag and opens it to reveal a ring, a simple band ring but it looked so pretty to Yunseong. He can already suddenly imagine Minhee wearing it, and there’s a tiny ache in his heart that bursts out of nowhere.

“If ever you’re still going to push through with the wedding, you can always just hit me up because everything is set up. I mean aside from some stuff that we had to cancel but we can easily reprocess that again—“

“No it’s fine, I think—not now. We’re not in good terms right now.” Yunseong sighs as he says it, thinking about Minhee at home whom he left in a poor state.

“Because of the accident?”

“Yeah. A lot of things had happened after the accident.”

“I hope you both get to reconcile over it, you seem to be a really cute couple from all the things you told me.” Donghyun says sulkily.

“Do you have time today?” Yunseong suddenly asks him, and Donghyun shrugs.

“Yeah, I don’t really have much to do. I flew back here in Korea just to meet up with you anyway.”

“Can you tell me some of the things I told you before? The ones I lost memory of?”

 

* * *

 

 

Today it’s just Minhee, Jungmo, Wonjin, Hyeongjun and Hyunbin—Minhee’s closest group of friends.

He had told Jungmo he and Yunseong had the confrontation already, and Jungmo’s first instinct was to call their group of friends and invade Minhee’s apartment.

Minhee hadn’t been feeling well, after the confrontation he fell sick with fever and had to stay in with no one to even take care of him. It was horrible, the way that not only his mind and heart were in pain but also the rest of his body. His gastric problem seems to be acting up again, and he misses Yunseong a lot.

They’re currently hanging out in the living room, just like in the old days. Hyeongjun wanted to watch a movie, to distract Minhee from overthinking—and so far they’re doing a good job at it by making side comments in every scene. It touches him that even though they’re not the same young kids anymore their bond never changed, and how each one of them will always have each other’s backs.

Jungmo sits beside Minhee after refilling his glass of wine and Minhee is sipping his own when Jungmo faces him.

“How are you feeling?” Jungmo asks him.

“Honestly? I feel horrible. I’m—not fine, but I’m trying to get over it.” Minhee admits and Jungmo pats him in the back. “Years, I loved him for years. It’s not a small argument either.”

“And he did too. When it’s probably the right time, you might be able to talk it out again. Let him have his time to process it all now first.” Jungmo says, and Minhee nods. Both of them are guilty, Yunseong for the mistakes he did and Minhee for his lying, and there’s no point in blaming each other solely. If it was years ago, Minhee would have probably done something drastic, but they’re adults now—and the way they handle problems are not the same as before.

“I’m sad because I’m hurt and he hurt me, and also because I hurt him. It’s a cycle.” He comments sullenly as he takes a sip of his wine, and Jungmo leans back.

“Sometimes things happen for a reason. Who knows, all of this might have happened for a reason in order to even strengthen your bond when you’ve reconciled.”

“or when you’ve separated.” Hyunbin comments from where he’s sitting and Wonjin hits him.

“Hyung, that’s not a very nice thing to say.” Wonjin scolds him and Hyunbin shrugs.

“No he’s right. We might not even get back together anymore, and that’s something I have to begin accepting as well. I lied to him about a lot of things, and who knows if he’ll forgive me even if I did it because I love him.” Minhee swishes the contents of his cup.

“But it’s Yunseong hyung. I don’t think he’d even loved anyone else other than you. You might have hurt him, but I don’t think he won’t forgive you. I agree with Jungmo hyung—both of you just needs time to process everything and reconcile.” Hyeongjun comments.

“No one is perfect Minhee, and not every relationship is perfect. The best we can do is to learn from these mistakes and do better in the future.” Hyunbin advises and he nods. His cloudy thoughts feel clearer and he feels a little bit better, at least compared to when he was just suffering alone for days wallowing in self-pity and fever.

“This is why you’re all my friends. If I told my younger self right now that all of you had matured like this he probably won’t believe it.”

“Your younger self probably wouldn’t believe you dated Yunseong too.” Hyeongjun adds as he chuckles, and Minhee smiles at them.

“Thank you guys. I really don’t know how to deal with everything right now, but having you all here made me feel comforted.”

“Don’t sweat it Minhee. We literally got to watch the two of you develop from strangers to practically married people, so who else would know you two together other than us?”

“Have some faith in yourself and Yunseong too. I don’t think he’s the type to just throw away all that both of you have been through just like that. Even if he cheated before, this time around it’s different, so you have to think about that as well.” Jungmo notes and Minhee leans on him.

“I don’t know what I would do without you guys.”

“Without us you’d be a mess. We don’t talk for quite some time and Jungmo hyung does his shady business thing in another country and look at what you’ve done so far?” Wonjin teases and Minhee hits him.

Eventually his friends had to leave, as it was already late, and again Minhee is left alone.

_What now?_

He debates internally if he should message Yunseong even if he said to not contact him. It’s been days and he hasn’t heard anything from him, and he misses him badly. After being accustomed to Yunseong being always there for him recently the lack of him is distressing for him. He feels like he’s having Yunseong withdrawal syndrome.

He finds solace in sleeping with Yunseong’s remaining clothes that smell like him, and even drinking the same coffee mixture that Yunseong likes. He reads Yunseong’s favorite book when he’s not working, and even when he is all he could think about was if Yunseong had eaten yet or if Yunseong had brought his umbrella because it was raining.

His fingers hang suspended on top of the screen of his phone, mulling over on what should he say to him. _Hello? Yunseong, I’m sorry? How are you? I hope you’re eating well? Please come back home? I miss you?_ A lot of suggestions are running through his mind and yet he doesn’t know which one is right.

He’s decided to get another glass of wine when he hears the doorbell ring. He checks the time on the wall clock and it’s a little over 12 already. He thought it might be Wonjin forgetting something or one of the other boys again, but when he opens the door and sees Yunseong standing there in his work clothes he almost dropped his wine glass in surprise.

“Oh, you’re still awake.” Yunseong’s voice floods his system with only 3 words and Minhee missed it so much.

“I really couldn’t sleep properly recently.” he replies, and Yunseong purses his lips, the way he always subconsciously does.

“Can I come in?” he asks, and Minhee lets go of the door frame. “I want to talk to you.”

Even if Minhee doesn’t want to, with the way Yunseong asked of him—he probably can’t even say no.

He lets him in and Yunseong removes his shoes off, and Minhee goes to clean up a little in the living room.

“You had people in?” Yunseong asks as he looks around.

“Just Jungmo and the other boys. They kept me company for a while to distract me from overthinking.”

“That’s good. That they accompanied you.” Yunseong says, and he’s so painfully awkward that if it was something tangible, it would’ve stabbed Minhee already.

“What do you want us to talk about?” Minhee asks as he sits across Yunseong with the coffee table between them.

“I met up with someone named Geum Donghyun.” Yunseong starts, and even with just two words Minhee’s mood became sour already. He already knows where this is going.

“Okay, I’m listening.”

“He told me a lot about my past— _our_ past, and some things make sense and some things don’t.”

Minhee feels jittery again, his hands unconsciously shaking so he hides it under his sweater.

“He’s not who you think he is Minhee. I’m not cheating on you with him.” Yunseong defends and Minhee shifts on his seat. “I know what you’re thinking, but he’s not. I was with him all the time, because I was planning on marrying you.”

He looks at Yunseong confusedly, and it feels like he has to hear the sentence again to comprehend it.

“You were what?”

“I still don’t have most of my memories yet, but I’ve been remembering and with Donghyun’s help I was able to gain some of it back—or at least be familiar with it. The plan I told Donghyun was that after our major project is finished and my promotion is finalized I’ll ask my company to give me a better schedule so I can spend more time with you, and then get married with you." Yunseong is looking at his hands as he says it.

"So who's Donghyun really?" 

"Donghyun’s an event organizer, and he’s helping me out with the wedding preparations until the accident happened." Yunseong pauses, and sighs.

"Yesterday when I was at work I remembered something, which made me want to talk to you now.” Yunseong added and Minhee feels like every word he’s hearing is surreal. “When you broke up with me, I left hurriedly because you wouldn’t let me explain. I’m sure I was going to tell you everything and be honest with you, but then it happened—and I never got the chance again because I didn’t know any better.”

Yunseong was planning on marrying him. Amidst the most stressful part of their relationship where they always fought over the simplest things and never saw each other half the time. Yunseong put up with that and the stress of his work and still managed to plan out a wedding for them.

Minhee’s feeling 15 different emotions all at the same time, and seeing Yunseong in front of him talking about it feels like it’s an illusion. He tries to think about all the times Yunseong was dodgy about the idea of marriage, and when he went home late and he pushed him to the point he snaps at him and acted suspicious around him—

“You gave me the wrong impression back then.” Minhee says and Yunseong leans back on the couch. “I thought you were really cheating on me and you didn’t love me anymore because you acted like you didn’t care.”

Minhee thought about how hard it was for him to be treated like that by Yunseong like that, how he endured all the disappointment and sadness because he loved Yunseong and he still wanted to protect what they had until he just couldn’t take it anymore—and hearing all of this from Yunseong now—how all of it might be possibly wrong and was just a misunderstanding for both of their ends is making him feel dumb.

“I don’t know what I was thinking then, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever figure out or if the rest of my memories will return again. But right now Minhee? Even after all your lies? I still love you." Yunseong admits as he runs his finger through his hair, messing it up. Minhee can see he's jittery, and he wants to just already come over to him to hold his hand.

"I tried to drown myself in work to not think about you but I still end up wondering how you are. I want to be really mad at you, but I can’t even. I want to say that I don’t have any feelings for you, but then I would be lying to myself.” Yunseong is staring at him and Minhee feels the sincerity that not even the past or post-accident Yunseong had. It felt like an entire new Yunseong, and Minhee can’t help but drown in all of him.

“I’m not even sure if the old Yunseong would say things like this, but I’m still Yunseong—and I think whatever Yunseong I might be, I’ll always end up loving you Kang Minhee.”

Minhee doesn’t even realize the tears were falling on his face until he feels his cheeks are wet and Yunseong rushes to his side. The older wraps his arms around him and wipes his tears with his thumb, caressing his cheek.

“Why are you crying, don’t cry—“ Yunseong asks in a panic.

“Because I love you too, and I’m sorry—maybe if I just let you explain back then after I broke up with you it won’t be like this—“ he says through Yunseong’s shirt and Yunseong pats his back. “If I had listened to you we probably wouldn’t be in this situation and I feel so guilty—“

“Its fine, what’s passed is past already—and I’m sorry too, for hurting you despite it not being my intention." Yunseong pats his head softly as he says it.

"I love you so much and I’m sorry. Let’s not dwell on the past anymore and just let it all go, okay? I love you.” Yunseong whispers in his ear as he hugs him and Minhee sobs into his shirt. Yunseong kisses him on his forehead then on his lips to which Minhee reciprocates, and whatever words Minhee couldn’t tell Yunseong he made sure to make him feel it through the kiss they shared. He puts his arms around Yunseong’s neck to pull him in deeper, and Yunseong’s arms loop around his waist. They kiss each other like that for a while and only pulled back when they’re already out of breaths.

“I love you too a lot Yunseong, and I’m not lying this time.” Minhee whispers as Yunseong presses his forehead against his, their noses touching.

 

* * *

 

 “Come on, take your slippers off you coward.” Minhee calls after him from where he’s gazing at the porch of the beach house they have for themselves.

Minhee is running the sand, letting the wind blow away his hair in all directions as he laughs and throws sand around him—typical Minhee—and it’s been like that for a couple of minutes already. Yunseong is just watching from the porch, enjoying how lively and carefree Minhee looks like. Minhee had always liked going outdoors, and even though Yunseong doesn’t really enjoy it as he prefers staying indoors he loves seeing Minhee happy more than anything else, so he’d always go along with what Minhee wants. Both of them took a leave from work and decided to just spend time together for an entire week, and it had been nothing like Yunseong had ever felt recently. He felt like he even got closer to Minhee now that his entire focus is just on him, and with what happened both of them felt the importance of each other in their lives. He rented them a beach house in a nice and quiet area so that it could just be the two of them and nothing more. Minhee had been excited throughout the trip and his enthusiasm had not died down, not even one bit—and it satisfies Yunseong to see him like that.

Minhee is impatient and eventually drags him from the porch to the beach, so that they could make sandcastles. Minhee is poking fun at him for being an engineer but a shitty sandcastle maker, and he pays back by throwing him in the cold water to which Minhee yelled at him for. They swim for a while and kiss in the water, enjoying the moment to themselves as the sun sets behind them. It was perfect, but only because they were together.

They head indoors for dinner and both of them busy themselves in the kitchen cooking. Yunseong is stirring the pot of pasta sauce when Minhee hugs him from behind, with his height perfect for resting his head on Yunseong’s shoulder. They stay like that for a while, with Minhee placing light kisses on Yunseong’s cheek and neck to which Yunseong swats him away for because it’s distracting him.

They eat the food they prepared with gusto, and Minhee keeps on chewing cutely from across him that Yunseong couldn’t help but point it out.

“Stop chewing like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like _that._ You’re chewing too cutely. It’s distracting me.” He says, and Minhee repeats chewing on purpose.

“Like this?” Minhee chews as he smiles, the creases on his eye line making his eyes disappear and Yunseong smiles dumbly at him.

After cleaning up he invites Minhee to sit with him by the porch, and there he reads a book as Minhee scrolls on his phone, his head on Yunseong’s lap. The moon shined prettily on them, and the sound of the waves crashing and the wind blowing is relaxing. Yunseong’s right hand is holding up the book as his left runs his fingers on Minhee’s hair. They stay in silence like that, listening to the sound of nature and their hearts beat for each other.

Yunseong eventually stops reading his book and just watches as Minhee naps on his lap, and marvels at how pretty Minhee is like that. He traces Minhee’s face with his fingers, and eventually Minhee’s eyes flutter open—his long eyelashes prettily batting at him.

“I’m sorry I woke you up.” He says, and Minhee gives a lazy smile.

“I don’t mind.”

“Are you still sleepy?”

“Not anymore.”

“Let’s walk?”

 

* * *

 

They hold hands while walking in the beach and it’s a little bit chilly so Yunseong pulls Minhee towards him into a hug as they walk. The sky is clear so they can spot a few little stars. Minhee feels warm just being enveloped in Yunseong’s hug, and everything feels nice.

“Look at those sparkly stars hyung.” Minhee points out at the sky and Yunseong laughs at him.

“Which one? The stars up there or the one beside me?” Yunseong asks, and he hits him lightly.

“Hyung!” he exclaims.

“I can’t help it if you’re my star.” Yunseong says, looking extremely proud of himself.

“If you don’t stop talking like that it will be the end of me.” he warns him.

“What if I want to keep on telling you things like that for the rest of our lives, how would you survive that?”

“I’d die a little every time, and then you’d have to resuscitate me with a kiss.”

“Like this?” Yunseong gives him a quick peck on the lips and it makes him smile stupidly.

Both of them are still walking until Yunseong stops in the middle of the beach. Minhee stops as well, and he looks at Yunseong who has a weird expression in his face.

“What’s wrong?” Minhee asks him worriedly and Yunseong seems to not hear him, as he rubs his temples and clutches his head in between his hands. 

“I—It’s, I don’t—“ Yunseong tries to speak but then he drops to the ground and writhes, and Minhee is immediately alarmed.

“Yunseong what’s happening? What’s wrong? Are you in pain? Tell me.” He asks in a panic as Yunseong is breathing heavily still clutching his head. He’s trying to stay calm but at the same time he’s so alarmed because he doesn’t know what’s happening. Yunseong is twisting in pain and Minhee doesn’t know what to do.

“I—I think there’s medicine on my pocket—for this—can you—“ Yunseong falters and Minhee immediately searches Yunseong’s pocket for anything until his hand grabs something solid. When he fishes it out it’s a small box, a velvet one and Minhee plops down on the sand when he realized what it is.

“I hate you so much Hwang Yunseong! You got me so worried hyung what the hell—“ he says as he hits Yunseong on the sand and Yunseong is chuckling as he gets up and Minhee promptly starts crying as he hits him.

“Hey why are you crying again didn’t I tell you to not cry—“ Yunseong envelops him in a hug as he laughs and Minhee still couldn’t get his tears to stop.

“Get up Minhee, hyung wants to do this properly for once. Come on get up.” Yunseong pulls him up and holds both his hands.

“We’ve known each other since forever, and we’ve had our ups and downs throughout that. We fought a lot, we made mistakes, and we said things we can’t take back anymore. But we also had fun and exciting moments together, a lot of good memories that are even more than the bad things that happened between us. I might have forgotten some of them, and because of that I want to move forward and make new ones with you.” Yunseong gets down on one knee, and Minhee felt like crying even harder than he already is and it made Yunseong laugh a little.

”I love you more than words can express Kang Minhee—and I don’t see myself loving anyone else other than you for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?” Yunseong opens the velvet box for him and there’s a ring that sparkles against the moonlight, and even with Minhee’s eyes that are too blurred with his tears he can see how pretty it is.    

“Of course!” Minhee barely chokes out.

“No lies? For real?”

“For real.” He nods as he laughs, and Yunseong slips the ring on his finger snugly before going in for a hug.

 

* * *

 

 

 

(Minhee asks Yunseong on their way back to the city on why didn’t Yunseong confront him the moment he found out he was lying, and Yunseong told him it was because loved the way Minhee lied.)

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no words to describe how thankful and grateful i am to every single one of you that has read this story, and how i have enjoyed writing it equally as much. on to the next adventure!


End file.
